How to Avoid Being Cyber-stalked
by Julie Posey Copyright 2000 all rights reserved
Cyberstalking is a relatively new phenomenon. With the increased availability of computers
and the fact that there is now completely free Internet access available on a large scale,
stalkers now have easier access to their victims.
According to the most recent studies, one in twelve (8,156,460) women and one in
forty-five (2,040,460) men has been stalked at some time in their life. Stalking generally
refers to harassing or threatening behavior that an individual engages in repeatedly, such
as following a person, appearing at a person's home or place of business, making harassing
phone calls, leaving written messages or objects, or vandalizing a person's property.
Jo Ann Marie Brown age 29 of Michigan was murdered by William Miller age 40 of Missouri.
The two had met in a chat room and soon Miller convinced Brown that he was dying of
cancer. Brown went to Missouri to take care of him. In January 1999, Miller shot Brown and
put her body in a well and covered it with cement.
Kenny Wayne Lockwood of San Antonio, TX posed as a young woman named "Kelley" in
online chat rooms. After going to meet "Kelley", Kerry J. Kujawa's body was
found about 500 feet from a cattle guard and later Lockwood confessed to the murder.
Cyber stalkers target and gain access to their victims through chat rooms, online clubs,
classified ads, message boards, discussion forums, and e-mail. Cyberstalking can take many
forms such as threats in e-mail, threats in public forums, online verbal abuse known as
flaming in public mailing lists, identity theft and includes a whole host of other things.
Most people don't even know that they have been cyber stalked until the stalker enters the
real world. This is why it is very important to know what kind of information is available
about you online. Use caution when posting personal information online. If you are a
woman, avoid usernames and online profiles that are obviously female. Be VERY careful to
whom you give personal information and where you post information.
Use a password that has a combination of
numbers, symbols, and letters and make sure it is at least 6 characters long. Never use
names of spouses, kids, pets or a name of a business or anything that can be directly
associated with you. It is a good idea to change your password often and avoid using the
same one for multiple accounts.
Check out the Web sites and meta search engines
that offer free information about you such as telephone numbers, birth dates, genealogy
information, and ask that those entries be deleted. Always be sure and read the privacy
statement on the merchant site as well.
Here are some places that may have information about you:
* WhoWhere <http://www.whowhere.lycos.com/>
* World Pages <http://www.worldpages.com/>
* 5551212.com <http://www.555-1212.com/>
* WhitePages.com <http://www.whitepages.com/>
* International Directories
<http://www.teldir.com/eng/>
Don't give out credit card or checking account information on non-secure servers. Using
e-mail, chat rooms etc. is not the place to ever post this information. When ordering
products or services on the Internet, remember that it's only secure if the URL that
begins "https" instead of "http", and most of the time your browser
will alert you with a message telling you that you are switching between secured and
unsecured pages within a site.
Review your e-mail headers and signature files.
Try sending yourself e-mail to see what is going out about you. If you are using a local
Internet Service Provider, the details of your geographical location are readily
available. Consider using a Nationwide ISP to keep from revealing you geographical
location. Look at your signature file. What information is revealed about you? Does your
signature file have your full name or phone number?
Have a talk with your children about what information they give out. Don't allow them to
fill out forms online without your permission. Not only can they be stalked but so can any
member of the family depending on what was given out. If you are concerned about a site
collecting information from children without consent, you should write to the Federal
Trade Commission at kidsprivacy@ftc.gov
It is often difficult to recognize a profile of a stalker. They can be men or women and
often but not always appear to be quite charming people. Some of the most recent studies
conclude that stalkers have these characteristics in common:
* More likely to be male than female
* Very obsessive and controlling
* Higher intelligence than other criminals
* Have a history of substance abuse and mental
problems
* Often was involved intimately with the victim in
the past
If you are ever in a situation where you feel that you are being stalked, avoid allowing
the situation to continue. As soon as you suspect or realize that you are being stalked,
tell the stalker that the relationship is over. Be very clear, direct and very firm. Don't
try to spare his or her feelings by being overly nice to him or her. Do not say or imply
that there is a second chance or that there will be further contact in any form.
Follow through with your intentions to end the
relationship immediately. In order to do this you may have to change your phone number,
change your ISP or e-mail address. Whatever you do, do not continue to have any
communication with the stalker.
Although your first impulse may be to delete
conversations and e-mail of a threatening or harassing nature. The best thing to do is
immediately document any and all evidence of the incident or situation. It is important
that you save all e-mail including headers, chat logs with dates and times, instant
message logs with dates and times, postings to newsgroups or public mailing lists and
everything else. You will need to save this evidence both in electronic form and print a
hard copy. If there have been threats of physical harm you may want to contact your local
law enforcement agency and give them the evidence that you have documented.
***
Julie Posey is a private investigator involved in the protection of children from online
predators. She has been investigating crimes against children facilitated on the Internet
since 1996. CBS Evening News recently had a 3 part segment on her work and showed her
assisting in a recent arrest where a man drove 500 miles to meet what he thought was a
13-year-old girl he had met online. Visit one or both of her Web sites for more
information. http://www.julieposey.com or http://www.pedowatch.org